Wednesday, May 11, 1994

May 11, 1994

Dear Journal,
Hello I only saw Doug in one class today. Because I really miss him I think I'm gonna die.
I really wanted him to tell me he loved me. I really need that a lot. I have a speech I have to do in front of the class and I don't think I can do it. I'll fuck up majorly and I know I'll start to cry and everyone will hate me even more than they do now. I can't do it. I hurt just thinking aout it. I'd really like to die sometimes. The other times I just want to die. (I took out the really)
I have to go because its really late and I have to dream of Doug and see him in the morning.

Suicide is painless!
I don't remember being afraid of doing a speech. I don' t think I was scared to get up in front of the class, I was just scared to make an ass of myself in front of him again.

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