Thursday, February 3, 1994

February 3, 1994

I keep reading the first line of each entry before I type it out and it makes me blush so hard I cover my face, even though I'm all by myself. Gah!

Dear Journal,
Hello today I had a moment where I stared Doug in the eyes & he was smiling. I really love his smile. But his eyes are the best. back in the old days Frank Sinatra was famous for his blue eyes and boy were they blue. Well Dougs shine twice as much. That's the only way I can describe it I guess.
He makes me just want to be loved even though I said I never wanted to be in love again because I don't want to be hurt again. I knew love was suppossed to hurt in the end but I wasn't ready for the pain even though I thought I was. I guess no one is. But Im in love again and I can't control it. I don't think Doug loves me anymore but I still love him.
Well I got my mail order list from K Records today (is the greatest). I ordered a couple things I cut out the picturesin it they werw Lois, Mecca Normal, Tiger Trap, Pork, FYP and someone else.
I can't think of anymore but Doug today becaue I don't think he loves me anymore. Wehn he looked at me in class today I just wanted to kiss him all over, up an ddown, over and out -Roger.
I'm obsessed again I know but I can't help it. Like I've said a million times, I need him.
I have to dream tonight of his eyes and smile and way of life and everything about him so I'll go until another day when I have more to say.

For god sakes no one smile at me or I'll swallow your soul!