Monday, December 31, 1990

December 31, 1990







Dear Diary,
I lost my favorite pen. *points to previous page* That one. Well any way tomorrow is a New Year.
yes I found it no I didn't well any way heres my day.
I woke up at nine o'clock then fell asleep again. Then I woke up at one & went down stairs. Oh Nine One One is a Joke is on. Well any way then I played Nintendo with Mike K & Rickey R & Jesse.
Now Get up is on I love that song even though its old. Now Escapade.
Well any way Oh Now Vogue. Ill name all the good songs on this thing. Ok lets go. Not all good ones but the songs.
10:30
1. Vogue 2. All around the world 3. Close to You (sick video) 4. Ice Ice Baby (Yes. He's really really cute)
Now 5. Grove is in the heart 6. Everybody, Everybody (don't ask) 7. Can't Touch This 8. The Power
11:00
1. Gonna make you sweat (Don't ask I have no idea)
2. I'll do for you (Father MC)
3. Back to Reality (Intelligent H???)
4. Knockin Boots (Candy Man)
5. Steppin Into the house
6. Its over (Don't ask)
7. What ever makes you happy

Oh yes guess what I just found my favorite pen.
Well here we go again Ill tell you the songs.
11:30
1. I wanna know whats on your mind
2. Round & Round
3. Liberty (Kon Kan)
4. Blame it on the boogie (The Jackson five)
5. Dont stop till you get enough (M.J.)
6. Centipede (Rebbie J)
12:00
Here we go to fire the Rifle. Oh one more song I wanna be the one (Stevie B.)
1. Ladies First
2. COme into my house
3. Gimme some kind of sign
4. Its too late
5. Little Walter (Tony, Toni, Tone)
6. Feels good

12:30
1. She sells sanctuary
2. Love Removel machine
3. Dub (?) be Good to me
4. wont talk about it
5. Tell me when the fever ended (Exibition Number One)
6. Talking with myself
7. Just keep Rockin
8. Rebel Music
9. Get on this people
10. Dance till your boogies delight (Jackson 5)

Well I'm back Ill tell you more of those later. Its 1:00
Jill called & said happy New Year hope our stockings are filled really well.

1:00
1. Love is in control

Well I'll write here o.k. So hows life. Its New years oops the dates wrong its now Jan 1/91
Well I gotta go o.k. Bye
p.s. Happy New year Diary I Love You

This was my most memorable New Years as a kid. In fact it`s the only one I remember that took place while I was still in school. I was allowed to stay up late and watch the Much Music best songs of the decade (or something like that). I don't remember firing the rifle. I just remember my little brother and I were allowed to sleep in my older brother's room (because he had a TV) and I remember rushing to get the titles of all the songs written down before they were taken off the screen.
My music related ADD may have begun here. I just ended up giving in to it. Now I just give in to it no matter what, I know there is no fighting it. If there is music playing and I`m enjoying it at all, I have no idea what else is going on around me.
I no longer have an obsession with pens. I used to love the way certain pens felt as they smoothly glided across the paper. That stopped about 5 years ago because my hands get too cramped now to enjoy writing things out. Sometimes I`ll scribble the ink out of a pen just to get that feeling again.
Remember when Vanilla Ice was hot? Neither do I. I do remember having a sex dream about him though. He climbed in my bedroom window and we took it from there. It was before I ever saw that "Cool as Ice" movie yet it was basically the exact scene from the movie but a little dirtier. That freaked me out for a while after I finally saw the movie about 7 years later.
Oh and to clarify the thing about the stockings being full. My family doesn't do stockings on xmas. Baby New Years fills them, so we basically get two present days. Which is cool.

Sunday, December 30, 1990

December 30, 1990


Dear Diary,
Hi its me sorry again. Its been 28 days since we've last talked. I got a magic nursery baby & its now my most valued treasure.
My parents are divorcing. Its probably going to be in February. I'm going to live with my mom.
Tony my now I think ex doesn't like me anymore. I really really love Tony more than anything but I seem to be just another whore to him. I've been going out with him for 35 days now. I really love him but he doesn't know yet so Ill have to tell him.
Well any lets get on to some happy news. This guy named Chuck called about three weeks ago. Hes nice! I now talk to him every night. Jeremy call again every once and a while. Thats happy news but I can't get my mind off Tony. Oh I really love him.
Bye
p.s. Christmas sucked but New Years is going to be nice! "I hope."

I burst out laughing at the "just another whore" comment. It confuses me that I still played with dolls yet thought this way about boys and "love".
Yet again with the divorcing parents. No wonder I'm so messed up. They were always going back and forth, over and over again. I don't know why they didn't just wait until they made up their friggen mind to actually tell us kids. They didn't actually end up separating for like 5 years and didn't get officially divorced for another 3 or 4. Crazy adults.
I think the most embarrassing part about these diaries is the fact that my punctuation has not really improved at all. Well it has but I'm lazy and when I get emotional I write so fast that I don't care what it looks like in the end. All I care about is that I get it all written down before I forget what I was going to say. Then I don't want to think about it any more so I don't reread it.

Friday, December 28, 1990

November 28, 1990



Dear Diary,
Today I had fun at scchool. Just kidding it was boring.
Well anyway I really love Tony Legere and Rachel really loves David Legere. Well Bye.

What a sense of humour I had back then. So clever.

Saturday, December 1, 1990

December 1, 1990


Dear Diary,
Hi I'm at Rachels and we talked to Tony on the phone. Lean on Me is on channel 21. I love it.
I don't think Tony likes me. I could tell by his voice when I talked to him on the phone. It makes me sad. yesterday I broke off with Jonathan but I still love him.
I also love Chris Partridge. He's really cute. I love Tony better though. Well Bye.

You know what else I remember? I remember that when I called Jon to break it off he sounded bored. He was playing with some remote control truck thing and his mom was yelling at him to get off the phone. I didn't mention that even in my diary because it was embarrassing at the time.
The thing I find embarrassing now is the crush on Chris. A while later I found out Chris was actually my cousin. His dad and my dad were step brothers. I had no idea. My parents never talked about it. I'm not sure why.
Poor me. Everything was falling apart in one day.